Saturday, March 26, 2011

Near the End.

Hmmmm. College is the dawn after the darkness (also known as "high school"). But after going on over 20 college visits, spread throughout my middle school and high school years, and culminating (hopefully) yesterday with Rhodes College, I think I can pick out THE MOST IMPORTANT things in a college with a bit of authority. Judge for yourself:

1) Restaurants (preferably cafes or donut shops) that are open all night with 6 donuts/dollar deals after 11 PM. Donuts are the perfect midnight snack.

2) Look around campus. Have you ever seen so many attractive men in one place in your life? (fyi: You're in the right place if you answer "no.") I am finally convinced that long-sleeved dress shirts with shorts and boat shoes could work...

3) Arranged, personal meetings with the chairs of the departments you plan to major in. Chair of music, chair of English, plus a billion other professors who desperately want to meet you. And when world-famous author Mark Behr will be teaching you how to write novels...

4) The president of the college offers you an impromptu lesson on how to tie a bow-tie.

5) Free stuff: t-shirts, sweatshirts, customized water bottles stuffed with your favorite candy, travel stipends, cookies with the seal of the college on them...

6) St. Jude's hospital (for young cancer patients) is five minutes away. My ideal volunteer work.

7) During English class, you hear a strange noise. Yes, it is the monkeys from the zoo across the street. LEGIT, man.

8) 80% study abroad rate. The national average is 7%...

9) Sorority girls who live in substance-free housing? Paradox? No. True lyfe. Stereotype destroyed.

10) More work than Harvard students. Don't judge my love of paper-writing...

I may be hanging out with Elvis next year, guys.

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