Emotionally Compromised

"Doctor, I am emotionally compromised and no longer fit for command, please note the time and date in the ship's log."

Zachary Quinto, a.k.a. the 'new Spock', said this line after the jerk Kirk had just incited Spock's anger and sorrow over the death of his mother. Now, it's hard to feel sorry for the dude, since two minutes later he was making out with Zoe Saldana in the elevator, but I think we can all sympathize with the message. He realized, after giving Kirk the punch in the face he very much deserved, that his emotions were affecting his day to day functions, that he really could not make rational judgments because of the severe traumatic shock his body and mind had just gone through.

Spock had an easy way to get out of responsibility after that. He literally did not have the authority to make decisions. He could go along with whatever the new captain said, realizing that his opinion really was not objective in the slightest. But we are not all half-Vulcan. We all do not have the option to simply give up responsibility. In real life, we constantly have to make those decisions which could help or harm others so easily, and very often we thrust our emotions to the side, trying to be objective but instead building up a deadly defense wall which, once perpetrated by a glance or a word, falls in on itself in a hopeless case of self-destruction. Now, try saying that last sentence three times fast.

Seriously, though, I have no solution.
It's stupid to try to give advice or make important decisions (or even unimportant decisions) when emotionally unstable in any which way, whether it be love or death or life. I mean, just tonight I've eaten a week's worth of ice cream and nut brownies (and I do not like nut brownies in the slightest...), and that seemingly unimportant decision to mistreat my body will cause a rather unpleasant stomachache in the morning. And it also kinda destroys my fast for Thanksgiving...
It's also stupid to curl up in a ball and refuse to interact with people, for fear that your instability will transfer over to their lives and result in a misinterpreted signal or whatever. Pretty much, don't isolate yourself. Someone is willing to listen, even if it is someone whom you have never really spoken to before. Hell, give me a call, facebook me, whatever. However, take into account that the person you are talking to may be emotionally compromised as well. Don't take anything at face value. That doesn't mean don't trust anyone, but get second opinions.

Now, before you start praising me as the bringer of all things truth, realize that I myself may be emotionally compromised. My blog might just be the rantings of my subconscious whenever I feel slighted, or wronged, or lonely.

Emotions are funny things. The other day, I was having mood swings. One moment I would be jump-up-and-down happy (and I'm so past caring about what other people think of me that I in fact did jump up and down several times throughout the day) and two minutes later I would be digging a hole to bury myself in the ground (fortunately, there is no loose soil in any of the classrooms, so I couldn't literally do that).

A friend told me a couple of minutes ago that I should stop concentrating on the many negatives in my life right now and instead think of the positives. Cliche, yes, but it is cheesy holiday schmaltzy season, and it really can help to count your blessings. This Thursday, forget your cynicism, your agnosticism, your bitterness, your sorrow, and instead think of those things you have-friends, family, pets, food, clothing, (school), LIFE, and let yourself be emotionally compromised with the absolute joy you will feel. Give up your attempt to be cool and chill and self-contained and let yourself feel something. Tear down your wall yourself before it can collapse on you.

Emotional Compromise is the best way to let yourself be human.
And, for everyone out there bothering to read this, I probably love you.
And I definitely forgive you.

VIVE LA FRANCE!

I really needed to update this. It's been way too long since you have heard any words of wisdom coming from my writing desk. I thought it would be appropriate to make another list for you, perhaps tips for college interviews? But I don't have time to force my witty mind to make you laugh. So, instead, I will be giving a little lecture on NATIONAL FRENCH WEEK!
Yes, it starts NOW!

You will hear French prayers, French music, French phrases. You will see French t-shirts, French posters, and smell the sweet scent of French food if you walk by 112A. Now, cough cough, I have heard, especially this year, a huge amount of DERISION aimed at French people. Now, granted, many of the stereotypes (gorgeous fashion great food ruined economy expensive toilets) are actually true, but some are not. So, you racist high schoolers, make fun of us. We are unflappable. Yeah, we're taking a language which isn't especially useful in the day to day sense, but consider:

1) French is the language of love. We have a built-in advantage in seduction. All we have to say is 'Bonjourrr,' and people interpret it as 'I am smart and ridiculously sexy.' HA, Spanish won't do that for you, and German would be more likely to get you a punch in the face.

2) All those amazing novels and poetry? Written by the French. And they're even better when read in French. Camus actually makes slightly more sense!

3) Yeah, it's nice to travel anywhere, but with French you can go to Paris! The city of cities! Or you can go to Vietnam or Africa or Canada! Anywhere your heart desires, your dream will come true.

4)When studying the French Revolution in a class of Spanish speakers (cough AP Euro cough), it gives you the right to make fun of those students and teacher absolutely SLAUGHTERING the French language. I mean, how many ways can you say 'Jacobins' before it is impossible to keep the laughter in. And I am always puzzled with the difficulty with 'Francois'. Granted, my accent is certainly not perfect, but compared to English, French is a walk in the park to pronounce.

5) Finalement, la nourriture! C'est magnifique! Les crepes, la clafoutis, le fromage...So much!

SO. ENJOY THIS WEEK. ALL OF US FRENCH KIDS WILL. AND YOU ARE REQUIRED TO BE HAPPY IF WE ARE.
Believe me, it's rare that you see me smiling in the halls. Enjoy it while it lasts ;)

Here's some laughable points for you:

"Bouillabaisse is only good because cooked by the French, who, if they cared to try, could produce an excellent and nutritious substitute out of cigar stumps and empty matchboxes."

How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb?
One. He holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him.

An old saying: Raise your right hand if you like the French.... Raise both hands if you are French.

Say, Say, Say

I think I can vocalize the thoughts of just about everyone reading this with a single statement: It's been a tough week.

I am, essentially, dead: emotionally, physically, mentally, etc.

So it was a great relief and comfort to me Thursday night when I discovered a certain musician whose soft, optimistic voice had me wondering why Colbie Callait ever became famous with talent like this lurking all over Youtube. In fact, Kesang Marstrand (BEST NAME, btw) popped up on my Melody Gardot Pandora radio, and before I had listened to half of "Bodega Rose," I cycled through every single song involving Kesang's voice.

Odd shadows of trees in the park
Claim the darkest dark
While we sleep
Tangled beneath the covers
Tangled in each other
And try to dream deep

Bodega Rose by Kesang Marstrand, directed by J. Wyatt Wilson from Kesang Marstrand on Vimeo.

As whenever I discover a new artist, I spread the word about Kesang to those whom I thought would care the most. Now it's your turn!

My absolute FAVORITE song of all time (for the moment, at least) is "Say, Say, Say," a cover (or as Kesang says it, "a tribute") of Paul McCartney's and Michael Jackson's duet. Now, I personally had no idea that they had ever done a duet, or had even spoken to each other...but you learn something new every day. The original song:



AMAZING video, but below average for the both of them in terms of listenability. Now, force your minds to calm down. Think about a situation in which you were hurt by someone. Slow your heart, switch your ears from pop mode to smooth, sultry Norah Jones' style, and give it a listen.



While the first song, "Bodega Rose," appealed to my melodic sensibilities the most, this song has those lyrics which just stick. They're like glitter. Once you apply it, it will never disappear. You will always find glitter on that outfit you wore that night. Every time you are hurt, the refrain of this song, with its repetition and simple rhymes, will push you to those tears which are floating so near the surface of your eyes. They certainly are not drying, as Kesang sings.

The song offers no solution. You are left to deal with your own grief. The only thing the song asks is for closure, actually. The singer, the listener, all one wants is a truth of some sort. Of course it will sting. Of course it will fester, burn, hurt terribly. But all that will pass. However, the song has to be finished. It ends with an incomplete arpeggio, leaving it open for you to answer the question, be what it may.

So, take a deep breath and face your fears. Then, realize that your emotions are mirrored in the lives of the majority of the 7 billion people on this earth. If anything is a failure, than it's the fact that humanity was made to feel so deeply. But imagine a life without those intense emotions. You would have nothing. It would be an endless night, a Bodega rose.

Disclaimer: Life is truly as cliché as I just made it out to be. Deal with it.