Decisions

I was going to spend my 'Friday' night catching up on the latest episode of GLEE (I have been converted, my friends), but then I sadly discovered that it won't be back for three whole weeks. Then I thought about the millions of people in Japan who are struggling quite a lot right now, and I felt [better about my own life? guilty that I was disappointed by an absent TV show? empathetically depressed?]

Anyways, I am going on a college visit tomorrow (making today 'Friday', you see) to visit the only college (out of 11) that I did not visit in the course of my college search. Ironically, it's also the school that has offered me the biggest scholarship...

Man, nothing ever turns out like you expect it to do. Absolutely nothing. Flashback to August. This year was supposed to be so different. The first day of senior year, I didn't know that I would meet people who would alter the course of my entire year, that I would be faced with the most bizarre moments of my life, that I would go in circles about my religion, my political beliefs, my major, even the type of experience I want to have in college. I mean, this is getting to be ridiculous.

I was reading Chicken Soup for the College Soul  the other night (I'm a hopeless addict to silly heartwarming stories, guys, as much as I deny it) and, I admit it, getting teary about leaving my family. (If you had the most adorable little siblings in the world, I believe you would feel the same way.) I was crying while reading a book about other people who left home, and I'm going to be no less than six hours away from home next year? Gah, Toy Story 3 viewing experience all over again...

I'm hoping that tomorrow there will be a moment of clarity "Oh, I can't go to any other school but this" or "Ohhh, I can go to any other school but this." Then, I'm hoping that on Saturday, I'll have another moment of clarity "Oh, the last school to give me its admission decision is giving me...what? a full ride? How nice..."
What if I don't? What if I'm still in the throes of confusion about what I want?

Solution: Put the names of the schools in a hat. Choose one. Voila.
The Lord will provide, and if He doesn't, I'll never know the difference anyways.