Tuesday, February 1, 2011

February. Pigg. Countertenor. REJECTION.

Oh, snow days. You give me time to write long blog posts, read some Jane Austen, and lie around the house in a Superman Snuggie munching on marshmallow brownies and taking random naps in assorted chairs around the house. You also give me time to accept rejection and darkly anticipate a depressing month. Let's work backward, shall we?

I was rejected for the first time today. I applied for a writing scholarship in November, and was informed today that *sigh* UNC does not appreciate my sense of humor or skillful use of adjectives and insults. They did accept me, but this impoverished girl can't afford out-of-state tuition without a bit of a boost. UNC, I reject you.
Thus, my lucky streak in terms of college admissions is over, and I am preparing myself for more of these dank emails. My only consolation is that someday, when I'm famous with a best-seller and millions of dollars, they will remember not giving me that scholarship and regret it. Eat my dust.

Of course, when I am in the dark pit of despair, I always turn to la musique, the best gift God could bestow on his clay sculptures. Especially when the music is made by tenors. Or, countertenors.


SAM TSUI. The Youtube sensation who remakes awful pop songs into something resembling quality. For example, consider the new Britney song "Hold it Against Me." It has lyrics which make my six-year old sister's attempts to rewrite the birthday song (happy birthday to you, you smell like poo) look like Hammerstein material. But Sam Tsui's very high tenor voice (alright, he's not QUITE a countertenor, but it's pretty close) enters your ear like a Q-tip. It scoops out all the gunk left by Britney's version and gives you a 3 minute, 49 second eargasm. The video swoops from his face (head swiveling, eyes closed, cheesy-as-mozzarella sticks look of absolute concentration and ecstasy) to his hands (awful technical work, but it's the notes that count) to the not-meant-to-be-funny antics of his producer, the ever adorable Kurt. This performance rids the head of Bieber-fever and gives it Tsui-itis, especially if you are a teenage girl with red-tinted locks and an impenetrably optimistic view of love eleven months out of the year.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxTDK1S5qJ0
Now, Sammy also writes his own music (thanks, Yale education). While better than Britney's, these lyrics still barely surpass my eight-year old sister's skill with words (she's GOOD, man). "We say see ya later, but I know there's no way we're around here again." Really, Sam, 'later' and 'way we're' rhyme??
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1p74Isbcgc
But you are forgiven for pure virtue of the fact that you are adorable and Chinese.


Pretty voice, Sam has, but skill? That's Landon Pigg's domain. The only reason HE'S not ridiculously famous is because of his rather unfortunate name. Pigg brings up several images, none of them pleasant. But this indie-pop cutie with bad teeth, greasy lank hair, skinny pants and ties, shlurpy endings of phrases, and golden eyes, deserves more than a supporting role in a Drew Barrymore movie (Whip It) and a song commission for a Shrek movie. No, he deserves stardom and listeners like you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaEc4SuhRbY&feature=relmfu
I mean, what is more endearing than indecision? He hasn't fallen for you, he has 'possibly, maybe fallen for you.' Huge difference. If he were a real boy, he'd be smacked cold. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLfjhSmvFjM&feature=relmfu
Finally, he carries a messenger bag and is pigeon-toed. Buy me a plane ticket to Nashville, please.

Ugh. Now for my least favorite topic. February. No wonder it comes from the traditional Anglo-Saxon term for cabbage. It is asymmetrical with the other months, hard to say (Feb-roo-ary or Feb-you-ary?), cold, and not close enough to May to make me happy. I don't even need to mention Valentine's Day to make February sound bad. Yeah, it started with a snow day, but there's NO SNOW and it's WAY too cold to go outside, PLUS my car is being utilized not by me, so I am stuck here, complaining to you, computer screen, and you, dear readers, who bothered to read all the way to the end of this.

No school AGAIN tomorrow. I haven't started my calculus homework and self-pity makes me feel important and misused by the world, BUT I'M BORED.


PATRONIZE ME, higher authority, and give me something to do besides blog! 

No comments:

Post a Comment