Reconciliation

Well, I just finished a great sisters'-night-out (actually spent at home, that's how we roll), watching "Date Night" starring the impeccable Steve Carell, Palin-double Tina Fey, and the white trash JF (Oh yes, I just wrote that, silly teenage girls. Go get Robert Pattinson to bite me.)

Of course, my dear father had to walk in right at the pole-dancing scene (it always happens like that, no?), and very vehemently expressed disapproval that my three year old brother and thirteen year old sister were watching (Apparently, he has higher hopes for us. Go figure.) At least he didn't see the bright purple nailpolish on the nails of my brother, or the ridiculous amount of butter popcorn we had ingurgitated.

Anyways, that experience convinced me to do what I've been wanting to do for the past four years. Confess. (Stop dialing my number, boys, I'm not a stripper.) Yeah, ask me for the connection later, I blank right now.

I often tell little white lies to make people think I'm cooler/ get them to shut up/appear attractive and/or indie/hipster. 'Often' is a relative word, by the way, based on my comfort level with you, how much I like you/want you to like me, wow I just switched point of views in the middle of a blog post and English majors are judging my poor grammar right now joy!, what your favorite color is, how often you like my statuses, and pretty much every random fact about you that influences my opinion of you or what I think influences your opinion of me. But now, I will see many of you very rarely in the future, so you cannot hold my lies against me for very long before I'm eating vegetarian BBQ in Memphis.

These are all addressed to specific people, but I won't specify. Pick yourself out, and I apologize (without a sense of regret in most cases).

- I actually have never seen more than 20 minutes of any Monty Python film
- I did read Camus for fun. Once. And it took me almost a year to get through the book I read for fun (The Plague, I recommend it to anyone who is not suicidal)
- I still haven't finished "A Portrait of a Lady", though I wrote a college essay on it...
- I want to date a douchebag before I die
- I haven't knitted since freshman year
- I don't like coffee
- If I ever insult you, it really is because I'm envious of you in some way
- I never dated any of my neighbors
- I loved going to choir every day, as much as I complained about it
- Barbra Streisand...I really am not a fan
- I love sappy romances. Nicholas Sparks, my sworn enemy, actually did make me cry in ONE of his books.
- I cry during music videos more often than during movies
- No, I really don't care about how your grandfather died. I just like your voice.
- I've probably stalked your facebook at least once
- I love being in pictures
- JF looks too much like Orlando Blewwwm to be attractive
- I dislike beans
- Constant status updates about sports PISS ME OFF
- I quote search. A lot. So I have cool statuses.
- I only stayed on the waitlist at a college so I could have a perfect acceptance record. Still waiting...
- I always feel awkward writing so much about my personal life on my blog/social sites and such
- This is because I like being mysterious- femme fatale style, doncha know
- After having a bit of a troll problem, I always wonder whether anyone actually gets that this whole cutesy blog is 100% sarcasm, or whether I should maybe add a disclaimer at the top, stop writing, get a life, etc...

I feel so free right now. Like, run off and join a nudist colony or quit my nonexistent job or stay up till 4 free. A weight has been lifted from my shoulder. Unfortunately, that weight was my only source for a workout...