Yes, the time has rolled around once again. The time to throw out your old JoBros calendars and put up the Bieber. Personally, I gave up on calendars. I mean, I can never remember whether it's Wednesday or Thursday or Sunday to begin with, so why know the date? That habit to not know the day of the week has been rather detrimental in my college admissions' process, since that January deadline is creeping up, and I still have at least one more essay to write, and who knows how many others will pop up tomorrow morning? However, this post is about my New Year's resolutions. And keeping track of time is not one of them. That would be more appropriate on a New Year's List of Miracles.
Anyways, when I get back to school on Tuesday, I will be an VIP (very interesting person, duh), according to the social definitions of today's strange, strange world.
Here's my list!
10) Finish reading A Portrait of a Lady.
This Henry James' classic has been plaguing me for two. years. I absolutely adore it, it's one of my favorite books, but I'm only on page, oh, 78 out of a couple hundred. I tell myself that I don't have time to sit down and digest the gorgeous language of Henry James, that I need to be relaxed and introspective with several hours on my hands in order to get anything out of it. Nah, I really just need to sit down and read it. Guilty secret: I actually wrote an essay about the works of Henry James for college, and mentioned A Portrait as one of my favorites...
Time Estimate: I WILL finish this book by Easter.
9) Watch Alice in Wonderland.
Yeah, yeah. I was the person who was SO excited to see this movie. I raved on and on about how great it looked, how great Johnny Depp looked, etc. But I haven't seen it yet. And I know it's supposed to be awful and all, but this is my goal, guys. I need to see it.
Time Estimate: I WILL watch this movie by Valentine's Day.
8) Have a Marx Brothers' Party.
This has been in the works for YEARS, since very, very few people have been exposed to the genius of the Marx Brothers, a group of brothers (who'd have known?) with a strange and clever sense of humor (I like to think my sense of humor is comparable...) which is a mix of slapstick and language manipulation
(i.e. Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read). Groucho Marx also originated Lydia the Tattooed Lady.
Will Ferrell for the intelligentsia and grease moustache-lovers.
Time Estimate: I WILL have this party by graduation.
7) Break up Michael Buble's impending marriage.
He's marrying this Argentinian chick in April. But seriously, she doesn't know English, he doesn't know Spanish. How long is that gonna last, especially when I get involved? I'm all for strange matches, but you gotta be able to communicate in the same language.
 |
| NO! |
Time Estimate: Ummm, as soon as Michael sees me. And I'm sure fate is on my side. I mean, I'm even going to his home country of Canada in March! Just think of the possibilities...
6) Have an affair with one of my college professors.
All the interesting people do this. Well, at least in movies. Drew Barrymore, Maggie Gyllenhaal, etc. And of course there's Patricia Cornwell, who wins my vote for most interesting person EVER. She's a successful crimewriter who is bisexual, a descendant of Harriet Beecher Stowe, bulimic, anorexic, and alcoholic at some point in her life, donated thousands of dollars to both Clinton and Bush, caused an FBI agent to attempt the murder of his wife because she was having an affair with Ms. Cornwell, is best friends with Billy Graham, writes books about Jack the Ripper and sepsis, AND, to make this whole spiel relevant, married one of her professors at Davidson College (one of my top choices!) right after graduation. And that ain't from Wikipedia.
Time Estimate: This WILL happen by next New Year's. There are other conditions, though...(not to be picky, but there is an age limit).
5) Pull a badass senior prank.
Is there any way that I would be expelled? I mean, I add a lot to the community of Bishop Lynch: involvement, good statistical additions to make it seem smarter, respectability, family to follow, etc. So, if you guys come up with a wonderful idea for a prank (it has to be CLEVER, NOT [too] DANGEROUS, and WORKABLE) let me know about it and I'll orchestrate it. Nothing I can do can get me in trouble, and if that's not true, we'll find out soon!
Time Estimate: This WILL happen by graduation.
4) Go on a road trip anywhere but Kansas.
I would love to set a goal to backpack in Europe, but that will have to wait till 2012 or so...I would rather go to the mountains (the whole Julie Andrews, climb every mountain, the hills are alive obsession). And I would like to go with crazy adventurous people. Or at least people who pretend to be crazy adventurous. Because otherwise I wouldn't get to go...
Time Estimate: This WILL happen by August and the end of summer.
3) Get in some sort of shape.
Yeah, exercising would probably do a lot for my energy level, confidence level, etc. But it's such a pain. However, I was inspired by my brother and my aunt, who both ran the White Rock Marathon, to run a bit and maybe put some effort into my future health.
Time Estimate: This WILL start once all the cookies at my house are gone.
2) Become a ginger!
AHHH! I've wanted to dye my hair red for YEARS. I've gotten highlights, lowlights, and all that, but I've never gone all the way. Well, until tonight. Wild New Year's party? Nahh. I'm gonna dye my hair light auburn, watch Despicable Me with the little ones at my house, and eat a bag of Hershey's Kisses at midnight.
Time Estimate: Oh, this IS happening in five hours or so.
1) Become a vegetarian!
When I told my sister that I would challenge her in a competition to see who could stay vegetarian longer this year, I shocked myself. But it's really exciting to think about, actually. I will have to cook for myself, eat healthily, and discover those cool vegetarian restaurants everyone raves about all the time! I will still eat fish and things like chicken bouillon cubes in vegetable soup, but steak, fried chicken, bacon, sausage: all OUT. I've got an account on allrecipes.com, and a sister and best friend to call if I'm really hungry and need an idea that sounds better than this: http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/cookie-dough-hummus/Detail.aspx
But gahh Thanksgiving is gonna suck. Lentil turkey? Tofu stuffing? Black bean gravy? I dread it already.
Time Estimate: Honestly, I WILL keep this all year. It probably will get easier once I leave my meat-loving family to go off to college, but until then, I will survive. Thank God I love spinach.
I am such a cool person.
Happy New Year!
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