This is an essay I wrote for a writing scholarship. Feedback, please?
I fell in love with the Nancy Drew series as a second grader. I could barely go to the bathroom by myself, yet I worked through the fifty book series, imagining myself as the crime fighting heroine. Somehow, I realized early on that I was not destined to fight crime and solve mysteries; I cried at the sound of a lawn mower, actually. Not the greatest background for a fearless leader. Instead, I started to dream of writing stories, of creating that perfect character which all my readers would aspire to be like, of becoming an inspiration to frightened little girls like myself. Carolyn Keene replaced Nancy Drew as my muse.
But, all things must end sooner or later. It was fifth grade for me. I had written my own little stories, “Harold the Ant”, “Haley Evelyno: the founder of Tabasco and Bayous in Louisiana”, and I had even written a poem about Biblical characters all stuck on Noah’s ark together. I had destroyed the ring with Frodo, fought the White Witch with Aslan, and ridden Black Beauty over and over again amongst the rolling hills of my imagination. However, despite all this positive reinforcement from places other than Nancy’s little blue convertible, I was devastated when my older sister abruptly informed me that Carolyn Keene did not, in fact, exist; she was actually manifested in many ghost writers all working together for a large corporation.
And that was when I decided that I was destined to be a writer, to transform writing from a money-making company-led pursuit into an artistic and stimulating mission. Scoot over, Shakespeare! I would be better than ‘Carolyn Keene’; I would create a world just as amazing as Nancy Drew’s, but all by myself without relying on another person’s originality. I would bake the cake AND frost it AND consume it, all in one fell swoop.
However, though I always put ‘author’ as my future career on the questionnaires I had to fill out as a middle-schooler, I never actually wrote anything outside of school. Sure, I could write great stories, but I had to have a topic to follow, or else I hit the speed bump before even turning the ignition. Finally, in high school, I had an English teacher who saw in me something different. He gave me rather good grades for my analytical writing, and equally appropriate grades for my rhetorical arguments. As my physics grade dropped, my English grade soared, and I finally saw writing as an outlet into which I could pour all my accumulated emotions from other areas of my life. I took a creative writing class and received the same encouragement. I began to write constantly, criticizing society, books, music, film, politics, people, etc., even sacrificing math problems once in a while to update my highly successful blogs. I write to escape from the demands of my baby brother, the stress of my friends, even [secret] the demands of my mother. I am always busy writing, and from experience, I know that I work much better when I keep busy. Writing has become my lifesaver, the activity to which I devote much of my free time. I would never even consider giving it up; I would not be able to function. The incentive of hearing praise and seeing my writing published is exhilarating, but I am truly happiest when in the midst of an eye-opening analysis. This is what writing has given to me; the least I can do is to continue to write, to give others the opportunity to be inspired in the same way.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Life Happens.
People annoy me.
Yes, that probably means you.
And you, and you, and you.
This year was not supposed to be stressful. I was supposed to coast through my classes, have a real social life, finish all my college applications early, record an album, find the cure to cancer, write a best-selling novel, and learn how to underwater basket-weave.
FAT CHANCE
SO, I'm at the same place I was last year, minus physics and before-school classes, plus a license and emotional issues.
And why do you care?
Ehhh, you probably don't, really.
And so, continuing my several week tradition of list-making (OBSESSION), here's a list of things that have made my life bearable over the past several weeks which also do not include the people who annoy me (yes, YOU!).
1) Knit a scarf. Stylish (at least...sometimes), cheap, and very relaxing. Yes, I do knit from time to time. I'm pretty much a grandmother in a gorgeous young girl's body ;)
2) The Cat Empire. This Australian band of wonder has never failed to make me feel ecstatic. I recommend instantly youtubing them. Like, NOW. Actually, I'll force you to hear them...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtFxo4mpiKg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Vonv8oO6ak&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfl9Zc2Dtok&feature=related
3) Facebook chat. Yeah, it's supposed to be counterproductive, but for a writing mind like mine, having a typed conversation gets the creative juices flowing. There is a drawback, though. Ten minutes on the computer can turn into several hours, depending on how interesting the conversation [cough...person] on the other end happens to be. This can also be dicey, because by talking to one person, you are subject to being attacked by the other 100+ friends who are online, of which there are only maybe 3 that you actually want to talk to...
4) Baby brother. Get one, asap. Always good for a free hug, hair-pulling, and, if you're lucky, a half-eaten cupcake.
5)Piano. Busting out with Beethoven's Concerto in C Major is extraordinarily soothing, y'all.
6) Movies with cheesy romantic plots. Try Notting Hill or Sleepless in Seattle. If you're really adventurous, try a black and white movie: Casablanca, It Happened One Night, Marx Brothers. You need popcorn and/or hot chocolate for this as well, and some sort of blanket or cushioney pillow/person.
7) Public Library. Browse through the CD's and DVD's. Pick out something you've never heard of before. Catch the eye of the guy rooting through the Desperate Housewives collection. Then head to the books, and pick out a decidedly non-classic. Not only will you feel better about your writing skills, but the sordid sex and graphic violence will intoxicate you into forgetting your own awful failure of a life.
8) Bubble tea, frozen yogurt, or peanut butter. Bubble tea, in case you don't know, is a wonderful Thai creation which consists of a tea smoothie (I recommend a chai blend or green tea) with huge tapioca pearls at the bottom which you suck up with an oversized straw. In other words, heaven. For frozen yogurt, drive down the street and you'll find one eventually. Peanut butter with chocolate, or Nutella. Spread on Nilla wafers. A big glass of two percent milk...dip them in, and, a soggy masterpiece.
9)Photography. Go take pictures of yourself. (but not THAT kind of picture...) Take pictures of nature, animals, small children, sidewalks, pencil shavings, grocery stores, headphones, tree bark, screwdrivers, iron clubs, shoes, other photos, roadkill, you get the point.
10) and the most soothing option? DRAW PICTURES. Apocalypses are the best. You can include all of your least favorite teachers getting blown up or hit by monster trucks, or your ex-boyfriend getting mauled by sharks or bears, or your high school getting attacked by North Korean nuclear bombs, or everyone getting sucked into a whirlpool except you and Johnny Depp. Ahh, I have revealed the secret of how I survive calculus class...
Or, you know, you could be productive and finish that essay, or math problem, or powerpoint.
But where's the fun in that?
Yes, that probably means you.
And you, and you, and you.
This year was not supposed to be stressful. I was supposed to coast through my classes, have a real social life, finish all my college applications early, record an album, find the cure to cancer, write a best-selling novel, and learn how to underwater basket-weave.
FAT CHANCE
SO, I'm at the same place I was last year, minus physics and before-school classes, plus a license and emotional issues.
And why do you care?
Ehhh, you probably don't, really.
And so, continuing my several week tradition of list-making (OBSESSION), here's a list of things that have made my life bearable over the past several weeks which also do not include the people who annoy me (yes, YOU!).
1) Knit a scarf. Stylish (at least...sometimes), cheap, and very relaxing. Yes, I do knit from time to time. I'm pretty much a grandmother in a gorgeous young girl's body ;)
2) The Cat Empire. This Australian band of wonder has never failed to make me feel ecstatic. I recommend instantly youtubing them. Like, NOW. Actually, I'll force you to hear them...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtFxo4mpiKg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Vonv8oO6ak&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfl9Zc2Dtok&feature=related
3) Facebook chat. Yeah, it's supposed to be counterproductive, but for a writing mind like mine, having a typed conversation gets the creative juices flowing. There is a drawback, though. Ten minutes on the computer can turn into several hours, depending on how interesting the conversation [cough...person] on the other end happens to be. This can also be dicey, because by talking to one person, you are subject to being attacked by the other 100+ friends who are online, of which there are only maybe 3 that you actually want to talk to...
4) Baby brother. Get one, asap. Always good for a free hug, hair-pulling, and, if you're lucky, a half-eaten cupcake.
5)Piano. Busting out with Beethoven's Concerto in C Major is extraordinarily soothing, y'all.
6) Movies with cheesy romantic plots. Try Notting Hill or Sleepless in Seattle. If you're really adventurous, try a black and white movie: Casablanca, It Happened One Night, Marx Brothers. You need popcorn and/or hot chocolate for this as well, and some sort of blanket or cushioney pillow/person.
7) Public Library. Browse through the CD's and DVD's. Pick out something you've never heard of before. Catch the eye of the guy rooting through the Desperate Housewives collection. Then head to the books, and pick out a decidedly non-classic. Not only will you feel better about your writing skills, but the sordid sex and graphic violence will intoxicate you into forgetting your own awful failure of a life.
8) Bubble tea, frozen yogurt, or peanut butter. Bubble tea, in case you don't know, is a wonderful Thai creation which consists of a tea smoothie (I recommend a chai blend or green tea) with huge tapioca pearls at the bottom which you suck up with an oversized straw. In other words, heaven. For frozen yogurt, drive down the street and you'll find one eventually. Peanut butter with chocolate, or Nutella. Spread on Nilla wafers. A big glass of two percent milk...dip them in, and, a soggy masterpiece.
9)Photography. Go take pictures of yourself. (but not THAT kind of picture...) Take pictures of nature, animals, small children, sidewalks, pencil shavings, grocery stores, headphones, tree bark, screwdrivers, iron clubs, shoes, other photos, roadkill, you get the point.
10) and the most soothing option? DRAW PICTURES. Apocalypses are the best. You can include all of your least favorite teachers getting blown up or hit by monster trucks, or your ex-boyfriend getting mauled by sharks or bears, or your high school getting attacked by North Korean nuclear bombs, or everyone getting sucked into a whirlpool except you and Johnny Depp. Ahh, I have revealed the secret of how I survive calculus class...
Or, you know, you could be productive and finish that essay, or math problem, or powerpoint.
But where's the fun in that?
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
How to be a Beastly Test-taker
Goodness. It's been several weeks since my last post, so in order to recapture my dear readers' attentions and perhaps convince several others to become faithful followers, I will be instructing you in the fine art of test-taking. Specifically, you juniors, how to ace the PSAT tomorrow. IF you ace the PSAT, you will be receiving at least five college letters per day, with an average of one full scholarship a week. Unfortunately, these scholarships are to schools like OU,Kings' College, University of Nebraska, and itty-bitty Methodist all-girls' schools in the middle of Iowa. Now, some of these might stir your innermost dreams, but really, I would appreciate a letter from Harvard or Yale a bit more...
Anyways, it's good to be recognized, and if you go to Lynch, then you're also treated to a breakfast complete with cake and a little flag with your name on it. Very much worth the extra effort.
Here are some tips that you will not regret following:
1) Sleep a bit. If you don't, then that impromptu nap you indulge in during that fascinating critical reading section(astronomical observations about the innermost ring of Saturn definitely has been my favorite) might result in some slobbering that will smudge your answers.
2) Eat breakfast. Otherwise everyone in your testing room will hate you by the end of the four hours after listening to your stomach growl incessantly. Believe me, I could have boosted my score by at least three or four points if not for the distractions from my fellow test-takers' bodily noises.
3) Drink coffee. This especially helps if you ignore step 1. However, either make sure you have a strong bladder or abstain from more than one cup. Calculating the weight of twenty-three storage bins full of confetti is much more difficult when a much heavier load is sitting in your bladder. Just fyi-ing all that obvious stuff.
4) Get assigned to a classroom with a cool teacher. Yes, I realize this is not technically under your control, but use some telepathic skills to communicate your wish to your counselor. Perhaps it'll work if you're REALLY as smart as you pretend to be. Anyways, with a cool teacher you can skip most or all of the hour set aside for teaching you how to bubble in circles and spell your name, and instead you can just take the damn test already.
5) Bring a calculator. "All of the problems on this test can be completed without a calculator." Yeah, RIGHT. SURE. If you can multiply 1327.5 times 6 to the fourth power within the 25 minutes set aside for the math section with time left over to do the other 20+ problems, then I hope you plan on applying to MIT (which most definitely DOES NOT stand for the Massachusetts Institute of Theatre).
6)Don't sit in an uneven desk. A recent study has shown that a wobbly desk psychologically screws with your head, and as your desk vibrates, your head mixes up all the information, creating a big alphabet number soup that translates onto the page as eraser marks and lost hope. Seriously.
7) Don't get a song stuck in your head before the test unless it's a catchy math tune that helped you to memorize the equations for semi-circles and twenty-two sided figures. Oh wait. They provide all the equations anyways. Way to waste time, dude.
Here, I'll help you give your opponents an advantage:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgkHd6eBfoE&feature=related
Good luck with those problems!
8) Guess only if you can eliminate one or more answers, and therefore, one or more percent of the 1.5 million students taking the test. Duh.
9) Be smart. If you're not, then you're sunk. Blame your parents, you inherited a good portion of their intelligence.
10) Remember, even when you're being bullied for your glasses or made fun of for breaking the curve, just remember, it's cool to be smart. Look at me.
'Nuff said.
Anyways, it's good to be recognized, and if you go to Lynch, then you're also treated to a breakfast complete with cake and a little flag with your name on it. Very much worth the extra effort.
Here are some tips that you will not regret following:
1) Sleep a bit. If you don't, then that impromptu nap you indulge in during that fascinating critical reading section(astronomical observations about the innermost ring of Saturn definitely has been my favorite) might result in some slobbering that will smudge your answers.
2) Eat breakfast. Otherwise everyone in your testing room will hate you by the end of the four hours after listening to your stomach growl incessantly. Believe me, I could have boosted my score by at least three or four points if not for the distractions from my fellow test-takers' bodily noises.
3) Drink coffee. This especially helps if you ignore step 1. However, either make sure you have a strong bladder or abstain from more than one cup. Calculating the weight of twenty-three storage bins full of confetti is much more difficult when a much heavier load is sitting in your bladder. Just fyi-ing all that obvious stuff.
4) Get assigned to a classroom with a cool teacher. Yes, I realize this is not technically under your control, but use some telepathic skills to communicate your wish to your counselor. Perhaps it'll work if you're REALLY as smart as you pretend to be. Anyways, with a cool teacher you can skip most or all of the hour set aside for teaching you how to bubble in circles and spell your name, and instead you can just take the damn test already.
5) Bring a calculator. "All of the problems on this test can be completed without a calculator." Yeah, RIGHT. SURE. If you can multiply 1327.5 times 6 to the fourth power within the 25 minutes set aside for the math section with time left over to do the other 20+ problems, then I hope you plan on applying to MIT (which most definitely DOES NOT stand for the Massachusetts Institute of Theatre).
6)Don't sit in an uneven desk. A recent study has shown that a wobbly desk psychologically screws with your head, and as your desk vibrates, your head mixes up all the information, creating a big alphabet number soup that translates onto the page as eraser marks and lost hope. Seriously.
7) Don't get a song stuck in your head before the test unless it's a catchy math tune that helped you to memorize the equations for semi-circles and twenty-two sided figures. Oh wait. They provide all the equations anyways. Way to waste time, dude.
Here, I'll help you give your opponents an advantage:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgkHd6eBfoE&feature=related
Good luck with those problems!
8) Guess only if you can eliminate one or more answers, and therefore, one or more percent of the 1.5 million students taking the test. Duh.
9) Be smart. If you're not, then you're sunk. Blame your parents, you inherited a good portion of their intelligence.
10) Remember, even when you're being bullied for your glasses or made fun of for breaking the curve, just remember, it's cool to be smart. Look at me.
'Nuff said.
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